My Eddy!

Dear Diary,
i did not sleep the whole night, i dont kno i just kept thinkin abt something. and now i'm here typing this crap. its almost 7:00. around 5:00 i went out on the terrace, everything looked so perfect there, or i think it was harmonious; balanced. i wish we humans cud feel or BE that way, but then i think its so impossible, infact, when u face an ongoing battle just within u somewhere, u cant really go on deciding who,why, wat initiated it. its like a breathj of terror within you, u cant feel wat ur sayin, i dont kno i just felt confused when i saw a bird chirping something, i felt it was addressed to me and somehow i cudnt stop imagine flying, soaring high above the black clouds.
i experienced something very strange. there is a bare tree beside my terrace and birds usually love siting there, khair, i noticed that after some time had passed flocks of birds started gathering on that tree, and ...and..they all were saying somethingm something to me. i felt connfused because just 2 seconds ago i wished for smthin and..i felt it was going to come true...
there is this cat, he regularly comes to my door and waits and when i finally see him he expects me to sit and talk to him; and he intently listens to me while i talk crap, so i've finally found someONE to talk to and not feel embarressed at all! okay, the strange thing is that he comes at my kitcchen door daily and waits for me AND rests while i sit him and talk my heart out. another -uhh yeah, i'm weird i kno- strange sight, a week agao, three cats were waiting outside for me-including MY cat- khair i went out sat with them and sang 'rock a by baby' to them and...they all fell asleep i kept singin and they kept getting deeper ..deeper into slumber...ha! but then something fell down and broke the silence, i had tactfully maintained.
so i guess enough CAT talk for today. my cat wasn't there last nite :( i miss him -yeah my cat ofcourse. fia named my cat thomas eddison, so i usually call him eddy!
i am tired of typying and if i type another minute i'll be a complete hunchback!
so cya sometime again
luv,
Alina

ps. i dont want anybody to read it in the first place, but yeah, if u do and cant help imagining that i'm a snowwhite/ cinderella wannabee, then i guess am! [err..watever that conveys]