Still Walking

I’m not the same now.
Every blow leaves me eternally injured.
Every drop of blood is draining the soul out of me.
It will be okay they say, but I see the shell turning into a thin sheet of palpable vapors. The vapors irritate my eyes as I sit here. The nascent creation of this twisted mind leaves scars for the blues, greens and reds of this imagery have blinded me.
I see no more in myself the love and affection that you desire. Tears burn my cheek when I think of you, your love has melted the hardest of hearts in me but its not enough; for it never is.
Leave me.
For this love only makes me cry more of numbness. As you say those three words your voice’s bruised the life in me. It reminds me of my sudden fall when the blue sky was all I wanted. Now the sun in your eyes chars me and the clouds leave me drenched in the regrets of yesterday.
Either way your love could make all the difference.
Don’t tell me what’s wrong for I know there’s nothing left in here…

In His Memory

The night had fallen, the stars were bright, and the full moon glowed against black background sprayed with white shadows. The moonlight shone on her as she lay in bed, thinking about him. A year had passed but to her their first kiss, first dance and first touch seemed just like yesterday. She remembered the hollowness in her stomach, the dryness of her throat and the emotions in her eyes when he first danced with her. He had made her feel beautiful, special and being with him brought her into the blinding spotlight which shone on her only.
The moonlight from her window reminded her of the feeling, the sensation that holding his hand brought on her. He had held her so close and danced to the blues and jazz that she couldn’t erase from her mind. His eyes became instantly, the reflection of her, his stare was piercing her heart as he swayed her on the wooden floor. The world seemed to have frozen, the times stopped for that moment, and all that she heard in the clamor of clattering shoes was her own heartbeat ; racing like a horse gone wild, the sea gone restless.
She was shrouded by the feeling that his gaze brought on her, the hour of separation, she thought, will never come for she had, in the most secret of her thoughts, immortalized the moment forever. She fell in love with him in the very moment he held her in his arms and swung her around. She had fossilized the feeling in the deepest darkest folds of her memory. She knew it was inexplicable for words were too scant to express the feeling buried in her heart.
Tonight as she lay alone under the moonlight and the shining stars, she felt cold and just the thought of being with him again brought a shiver down her spine, hollowness in her stomach, the lifelessness in her feet and that euphoric night under the yellow lights. Just by the thought of it.
Soon the hour of separation arrived and she didn’t feel it even for a minute that the pain of separation will over shadow her and will bring tears to her eyes. She never imagined this, for these few minutes seemed to have spanned for centuries; she was unable to measure the depth of her love and the longing in her heart. She felt incredulous as he kissed her and went out through the door. Never to come back for from then on he lived in her memory, haunting the empty spaces and the nothingness in her.

So it was the hour of separation that deciphered the intensity of her love for that man. She could not still forget his last words; the words which brought back life and form in her. The words that she was still living with and the words that became the dénouement of her life, of her self and this short time she spent with this beautiful stranger who immortalized himself in her, he was someone that remained hidden in the deepest bowels of her soul, he was a thought a feeling, a sensation, a perception that made her understand the meaning of this world, and its essence, love. ‘Dans le veritable amour c’est l ame qui envellope le corps’ in his strong moving voice he uttered ‘in true love it is the soul that embraces the body’.